XX Little Street
17 October 2010
I am writing to complain about one of your products I have purchased from your range of shower accessories. More specifically I would like to have a moan about your Croydex stainless steel 1.5m shower hose.
I invested in said hose at the end of August for my rented flat in Chichester. Because it is a rented property I am not allowed a shower. I foolishly thought I would buy a shower hose and nozzle and attach it to the bath taps in a vain attempt to pretend I was a home owner with a proper shower. For a while it gave me a certain amount of dignity. Since my initial purchase, I have had many happy mornings rinsing myself down in the bath like a filthy dog after a long walk on the beach, for this I thank you. However, today something disturbing happened.
This morning I was worried about lots of things. I have recently lost my job and the future is a little bit frightening as some of you at Croydex can imagine. I felt anxious about money and how I was going to pay the rent and buy food and play the fruit machine. So, I thought I would have a nice bath to relax. That was a big mistake. I ran a bath, added some Radox Calming Moods Bath Essence, de-robed and slid-in for a nice relaxing soak. Then I felt something sinister move by my leg. It felt a bit snakey. I moved my leg away from the snakey thing. Suddenly, totally unprovoked, it bit me! And that really hurt Croydex.
When my girlfriend got home from work I told her what had happened. She explained it was probably a hair on my leg getting caught in one of the springy type joints of the hose as I had absolutely no visible bite marks or any physical injury whatsoever. She also said I was being a bit of a girl and I should stop being stupid. What does she know? I thought. She only works in admin.
I thought I should write to let you know as I am sure you will want to investigate this incident further and possibly warn your other customers that this particular type of hose has a tendency to pretend to be a snake. I purchased this shower hose from a man called Robert Dyas who owns a shop in Chichester with the same name. Although I have never actually met Robert himself I have purchased lots of stuff from him before. He is a good man. During your investigations I wish for no harm to come to him or his family.